Monday, March 10, 2014

Worrying: Does it attain anything??? If it doesn't, Why do we still Worry??? PART 1

Photo Credit ~ Google
Worrying is an awful waste of time. Over the span of our lifetime, worrying accounts for hours and hours of invaluable time that we will never get back. It makes us assume scenarios and overwhelm us with self conjured events that have not even happened yet and possibly will never happen.

I was one typical worrier who used to get worried about everything, literally everything in life ranging from little things like completing my homework on time to the political instability in the world. Of course, I could do something about the former but there was nothing I could do about the later, yet I worried.

On a positive note, worrying helped me complete all my works on time, be it home works given to me by my teachers, assignments given at home by my parents, other works at office, etc. However, worries never left my mind in peace, it remained preoccupied with ‘what ifs’. Now, I realize that I have wasted too much of my time worrying about simply nothing. I have never lived in the present; it was always the past and the future I lived in. When we live in the present, we are living where life is happening. We will realize beauty in every moment. Sadly, I did not experience life as it is. L And many of you may be doing the same unknowingly.

I remember myself as a very worried kid and I grew up as a worried teenager, a worried youth and a worried adult. And it’s so true that 80% of the things we worry about never happen, even in my case it never happened. There were many instances like this when I was worried, I had forgotten my best friend’s birthday, mother’s day, other important occasions, etc. I remember not enjoying dinners, social gathering because I was too engrossed worrying either about my tomorrow or about the mess I had created the day before, about what people would think about me, so on and so forth.

Photo Credit ~ Google

My worries would vary from:

1. Meeting new people and adjusting with new friends: I always worried about meeting new people. I remember how worried I used to be when I had to change schools and meet new friends. I would worry about how my roommates would be when I had to go to boarding schools, starting from how should I start the conversation, what if she doesn't like me? One example of recent would be after I started working, my supervisor would nominate me to attend some meetings where I had to represent my organization. My worries would begin then, what if I am asked something I don’t know, what if there were no one I know to sit with, to eat my lunch with. Within few hours, the meeting/training would be over and no one even notices me. It’s just a waste of time and energy.

2. Giving the Best: I have worried about giving my best, about my grades in school, job interviews, approaching deadlines, perfect reports. I worried about disappointing my teachers, my parents and my boss. I also worried about being the best one, be it a daughter, granddaughter, sister, relative, friend or a girl friend. I worried about what if I upset them, what if I didn't live up to their expectations, what if I didn't do enough. I still worry about this but not to that extend. :)

3. Giving a Presentation: Given the fact that I was a very shy person, (I still am but not as much I used to be before) I had serious problem coming in front of a crowd and giving public speeches. I always wanted to get rid of the class, pretend to be sick or request some friends to do it on my behalf. I never realized I was actually losing opportunities to overcome my weakness. The presentation would make me worry two – three weeks before. Instead of worrying, I could have prepared the presentation well and get ready to answer all questions asked. I never did that, I presented only for the sake of it. I never learnt anything.

5. Going on a date: I used to worry about going on dates, about the clothes I should wear, what if I do something stupid? What if he turns out not to be the person I’m looking for? I have worried about first impressions which were actually all useless.

6. Going to a social event: I am not exactly an introvert, but I prefer staying home most of the time. I like social events only if the event has people I know. When I have to go to events I am not so familiar with, I start getting worried about ‘what ifs’ again. What if no one wants to talk to me? What if I get stuck in an awkward conversation? What if it gets boring?

7. Starting something new: This has been one of my major weaknesses, not being able to accept change, adapt with new people, new things, new environment, starting something new. For a good period of time, I had this mentality that I should never write an article unless I make it the best. Even to start this blog, I wasted too much of my time just thinking about whether I should start it, what if people think I write non sense, so on and so forth . However, I am glad, though late, I realized it finally and I started it too. I have also realized that it’s OK to give it a try and this is how we learn.

Photo Credit ~ Google
Over time, I have realized that:

       1.   Worry attains Absolutely nothing:

I don't have any leisure time to waste these days. I mean there are so many important things to do instead of just worrying and achieving nothing. Worrying won't help us solve a problem or bring about a solution, so there’s absolutely no reason wasting our time and energy on it. Instead, we should identify the issues bothering us and our actions to address those issues and act on them accordingly. 

 2.   Worrying  becomes a HABIT:

Worrying turns out to be a habit, the habit which took me so long to realize. Every time, something wrong turns out, the first thing we would do is worry instead of finding a solution. It becomes a habit. If we think of a solution before worrying, this would turn out to be a habit too, but a more efficient one which would eradicate so many small problems in life.

Worrying is destructive to us in many ways. It becomes a mental burden that can even cause us to grow physically sick.

3.   Worrying brings negative energy:

Worrying refrain us from thinking positive. It stops us from doing something good. Worrying only gives a false sense of control and doesn't help us accomplish anything.

I was a person full of such worries and only of late I have realized that it was such a waste of time and mental peace. So, I have decided that I would like to spend my time more wisely and more pleasingly now. J What about you? J

Get everything out of your head and live your life in the present. 

Photo Credit ~ Google